The Danger of Aiming for an “A”
Last week I shared what I believe to be the greatest success principle ever uncovered in this post, Nothing Succeeds Like Failure.
If you missed that one, it’s worth a look because A) It’s great and absolutely true and B) It will offer some texture to this message.
Following the dinner with Mr. Billionaire (mentioned in previous post) I was discussing with my friends the fine line between success and failure when one of my friends says,
“We spend our life growing-up, trying to get an ‘A’. Then we opt to be our own boss to aim for the achievement of being a self-made successful man—and find ourselves acting out our life of training, aiming for A’s on everything.”
What an excellent point!
Consider the the highest paid athletes in the world are celebrated if they can hit a ball 2-3 times in 10. And even more so if they hit it out of the park 4-5 times in a 100.
Then imagine the self-defeating paralysis an athlete would get into if their standard was 90%. It’s not realistic for them but we expect near perfection here, with our own lives.
The typical driven performer or entrepreneur is carrying his most pressuring parent on one shoulder and his most demanding professor on another—trying to prove his worth by getting an A while telling himself, and everyone else who will listen that he’s swinging for the fences.
Think about it. It’s just not possible. Right. You can’t be trying to be good enough, aka safe, and let ‘er rip at the same time. No one ever hit a home run without being fully relaxed and present to the swing.
I’ve no doubt it feels like you’re swinging “hard!” It should because it is hard to swing at all when you’re worried about performance, about making the cut.
My experience tells me that most of us who haven’t come to allow or even embrace failure are still short-arming it, muscling the ball and really just trying to get a few balls in play–regardless of the heroic story we’ve made up to feel better about our lack of compassion and constriction.
How’s your swing at success going? Are “trying hard” to not miss a ball or are you having fun, swinging freely and truly expecting a few home runs?
What’s your experience? I’d love to hear…
No related posts.
About The Author
Twitter
Facebook
Vic Magary
This post really hit home for me, Shawn. I recently shut down my business due to years of “trying hard not to miss the ball” instead of relaxing and enjoying the process. Thanks for the great post.
Jose Sanchez
This is why you here a lot of stories of some C students or the High School Drop out creating massive success because of their willing to take risk. They did not allow the system to condtion them.
So, how does a conditioned individual striving for an A/perfectionist begin to make a shift to risking and learning to trust the Inner Self to enjoy the fun ride.
Personally, I have had to change and condition my perception of what FAILURE is and that FAILURE is OK. What do I have to lose, but you also do not want to be completely stupid in taking RISK either and that is when Trusting Yourself , experience, intuition, mentorship, and masterminds can help. Then, once you decide, YOU go ALL OUT.
Mike Kohl
Great Point!
this is one of my primary concerns of sending my kids to school….the most successful people make big failures in life before they succeed. I’ve always been a “good student” — but it’s been “hard” to “unlearn” that it’s okay to fail in my own life in my own endeavors (from business especially) — it’s getting better, I’m slowly shedding the perfectionism “habit” and just giving things a shot more…..I just wished I did this YEARS ago. So, it’s something I’m planning on instilling within my family.
Rock on!
Sean Barker
Great stuff Shawn!
We are so conditioned growing up to look at failure as a negative experience. But think how little we would learn if it wasn’t for life’s failures, big and small?
Like you mentioned with baseball, all the biggest home run hitters also have the most strikeouts!
As I continue to live and learn I know that failing forward is the key to success and as long as I have air in my lungs and my family by my side, mistakes are just learning experiences in this fun ride we call life…
Here’s to Full Strength;-)
Patrick Hitches
To me, risk is everything… The excitement of the unknown keeps me continually coming back for more and more. Often times people have a hard time understanding how I’m able to just “throw it on the line”… and my reply is this, “What’s the worst that can happen? I fall flat on my face and lose everything to where I’m in the soup kitchen line waiting for my next meal!? Welp, so be it then. I’ll just regroup, refocus and use my skills and talents to get back on my feet. But the ONLY way to make dreams a reality is to simply give all of yourself and enjoy the ride.”
Thanks for the post Shawn.
Cheers!