Life Shattered Wide Open
As this wonderfully peculiar Sunday comes to a close I find myself reflecting on how profoundly the previous four decades of my life have been propelled by a defective story, one of lack, laced with fear.
Cherish Every Moment
It’s truly a remarkable moment of clarity to bare witness to on this day, at this place in my life. Like you, I’ve had my ups and my downs—some brilliant high points and some devastating lows—but that’s the nature of life, the texture, right? All in all, even as my eyes continue to open, it’s been a truly wonderful life.
A few months ago I enjoyed the great mis-fortune of slamming my life, gradually and suddenly, at full-speed into a stout brick wall, promptly shattering it into a million pieces. As the weeks have passed at the pace of stoned turtle this once tragic, painful accident has morphed into a blessed, transformative gift and I find myself less splintered than fractured open. Open to face and embrace a reality, a truth, a life that I’ve lived with gusto and bravado, more often to avoid than to experience.
What’s also remarkable (sticking with the theme) to me is that I’ve always known it—known that something wasn’t quite right—that my life experience lacked the ease and peace that I could see in some others. Well, I can’t say for sure I’ve always known it but certainly for the last few decades I’ve sensed that I had an itch that needed scratching. An itch that keeps me uncomfortable, ill at ease.
But, like most smart, logical, driven people I figured that enough money, enough success, the right cars, the drop-dead gorgeous wife, the big house… would most certainly scratch it. So I worked at success and achievement—for extra measure I even sculpted my body and chiseled out a six pack of abs that would make Michelangelo green with envy.
And it worked! For awhile, some of the time. Until it didn’t.
And when it didn’t, when the itch reared up and bothered me I worked some more, worked out, sculpted a better set of abs or drove my car real fast, bought some new clothes, built a new website, jumped out of perfectly good airplane or something. There was always some next, some better, some faster.
There’s nothing short of a billion ways to scratch an itch, of this I can assure you.
Then came the brick wall. Remember the brick wall. Between you and I, I think I got tired of scratching. It just wasn’t working any more and it wasn’t really very fun. Certainly it wasn’t rewarding.
As my life hurled through the air in the vivid slow motion that we experience traumatic events, I became more and more clear on the source of the itch, the nagging discomfort, a sense that I am “not enough.”
That’s really what the remarkable experience of life has been about for me—not enough. I’m not talking about not fast enough, not fit enough, not smart enough. I’ve systematically and quite skillfully handled most all those. I mean, quite literally, “not enough.” And that’s a hell of a lot more “not” than all those others combined!
That’s the story of “lack” I’ve held on to, the tape that has played in my head day after freaking day for as long as I can remember. And while I’ve certainly known and shown fear and insecurity my experience has been more one of confidence, excellence and even superiority. Which, as I’m sure you can see (embarrassingly it’s taken me near my whole life) I’ve done just about everything within my power as a human being to prove to myself and anyone else who would listen that I am enough—more than enough.
(Ironically, as I write this I know that even “more than enough” isn’t even enough. How you like them apples?)
This need to excel, to be “better than the best” does have an upside. It can propel some serious action and generate some extraordinary results.
I suspect it contributed early on to me building a strong, impressive body and why I gravitated towards sports, where I could excel physically. I wanted to increase the odds that you’d see me as “good enough,” and if you doubted my story you’d sure as hell not dare say so. Ha…
It also explains why I invested a full year and a million dollars to create a great enough formula to be “Full Strength.” Extraordinary is my minimum standard. And I’m happy to do whatever it takes to exceed that standard. I imagine this is the sort of obsession that’s driven the great creators, like Edison, throughout time. (not that I’m comparing nutrition to the light bulb, not my point wise guy!)
So, I write a brilliant book (if I do say so myself), and make a the best nutrition meal you can enjoy anywhere. That you can be sure of. That’s the good news. But—always a but—I’m burning me and everyone else around me out, at alarming rates, by aiming far above normal standards.
There’s nothing like a lousy story combined with a strong work ethic to activate the martyr gene. If someone else could do a decent job of something in 30 minutes, I could do it 10 times as great in 30 days!
So, on I went; aiming high, being hyper-driven for perfection, getting my hair right before I leave to workout, making sure that my Audi was clean and the Prada pressed. All nice things but perhaps not all necessary.
Because gol darn it, I want people to like me. And maybe, just maybe, if I can get enough people to buy into the story that I’m “good enough” I’ll even trick someone into loving me.
Ah… but that’s a bit of a reach, I know. But you know, “Aim high!,” right?
Yeah, good stuff. If you’re trying to avoid being drafted for war but when it comes to living a life, having time for joy, family and such, it’s not such a great strategy. And truth is, it’s just not any fun.
The price of the rewards are too high for the temporary return. And the feeling of success never seems to stick. Hell, I remember getting my last book done and rather than celebrate I was already on to the next thing, the next project. Saying, “What now?”
What most makes me both want to laugh and cry about is that I know this stuff… I’ve done a lot or work with the “limit setting” center of our subconscious mind with some of the leading teachers and experts in the field. And thankfully my brain works so damned well that I understand it. But here’s just another example of how over valued understanding is. Getting it in your head isn’t always getting it in your life.
Where this mis-information, the fear (False Experience that Appears Real) comes from or why I’ve held on to it so tightly, is not all that important at this moment. We could spend the next decade shedding light on that and I’d still be telling myself the same defective story in HD-stereo. So, best to get on with it. Move forward; leverage this opportunity, this crack in the shell, to break in and mess with that messed up story.
So, What’s a Man To Do?
When you come to the fork in the road, do you take it?
Seriously, when you find something in your life that’s no longer working, how do you go about making real, lasting change?
Do you wake up—I mean seriously f*&king wake-up like your life depends on it or do you give it the good ol’ college try and go right back to sleep?
Well, I’m here to tell ya dude, life is what happens to you when you’re not paying attention. And being “happened to” generally sucks.
And there’s only one way to change that, to get life to start happening for you and that’s to wake up.
This as your invitation to WAKE-UP! To turn down the distracting sound in your head and tune your full attention to K-R-E-A-L… the reality station.
Waking-Up: The First Step
The first step, in many ways the biggest hurdle will look something like the sharing above; seeing and becoming keenly aware of what “it” is, how it’s been working and why it’s not now.
That’s about brutal honesty—getting real. It’s a bit like a deep inner version of the “before” photo from a Body for LIFE challenge. The “Get Real” phase.
Next comes your full, open embrace. For the end of resistance marks a new beginning. Or as Eckhart Tolle says, “Bad transforms to good through the power of non-resistance.”
Most people find releasing resistance unsettling, sort of counter-intuitive. Especially driven people who know how to fight for what they want. To them “surrender” is giving up. Which could not be further from the truth.
“Giving up,” is the opposite of “giving in.” To cease the fight, stop resisting what ever is up for you; be it your health and fitness, diet, relationship, family, or your life; is the foundation for true Strength. Only through surrender do you have a fighting chance.
I appreciate you taking this in and sharing your valued attention. I also know that I’m not alone in facing life’s challenges—that life dishes the best of us lemons now and then. And we get to decide if we’ll make lemonade of them or just chew on them and tear up.
For me, as for many of you out there reading this now, I know times are tough. And there’s be times you don’t know if you can go on.“But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl…” ~ As the good Dr. Seuss reminds us.
Facing life head-on, taking on challenges whatever they are, with a strong fist and open heart is what’s Strength is for.
Tune in, if you dare, for the next installment of the journey: The Strength of Surrender: Why Giving In is not Giving Up.
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Gerri
Well story so far leaves alot to a mystery. Soul searching is always a learning experience. Waiting to see the next chapter…on you
Rick Crocker
Shawn ……
Relatively speaking, your “problems” are insignificant compared to many others ……. cherish the fact that you can still make choices in life ….. whereas many people have no control over the situations they are in.
Shawn Phillips
Rick,
Wow man… I should be flattered that you project such immense power on me that my struggles would be “insignificant…relatively.” And I can assure you that while there are, of course, more difficult and tragic life situations on every corner, life does not play favorites when dolling out ass whippings. And struggle we all do at some point and others.
As for choices, we can all make choices. Maybe the choice isn’t to leave a prison cell–for some. But even that does not preclude choices. Ask Viktor Frankyl who wrote the classic, Man’s Search from Meaning, on his experience in a Nazi concentration camp. And the great thing about choice is that it’s always there and it revolves around the only power any of ever truly have–which is the power over how we respond, act and think, judge, view, see the things around us. The idea that we have power over others and situations is a frustrating self-delusion. We can influence things but even that is less effective than leading and living true to your truth.
I could spend hours on this but will stop here… thanks for your comment!
Shawn
Shane Anderson
Shawn
I have come back here often to read what you wrote. Each time I read it something else seems to be revealed…. today its lack. How lack is simply a view and a choice and even in my “lack” how truly much I have, I have been given and how amazingly I have it.
There are those today who will lose a loved one, today someone in Japan will give up hope that their loved one lived, today someone will lose a child, a friend or even themselves to any of a number of things as tragic as we can imagine.
I have a choice…. I am abundantly blessed with the pleasure of exploring myself and my feelings, my impressions and my results as well as my plan for moving forward and learning from your experiences so I dont repeat as many in life do…. Why cant we just learn from others more easily.
Thanks for sharing your gift of insight and clarity here…..
Bill
Shawn,
Maybe I just don’t understand, but I hope your “brick wall” isn’t some horrible disease you found out about or someone in your family got. It is always amazing to me how people like yourself overcome those kind of things not knowing if I would have it in me if it happened to me.
I’m 65, unemployed, on social security and have no money in the bank. I have been trying to find a job for almost three years. I am just trying to survive. I do however know something about dealing with adversity. I have had my share of it. Being the super successful guy you are I know you know all about it too. That knowledge helps you get through tough times, but experience does too and it helps you be more compassionate with others.
Maybe you just meant you are burned out. If that is all it is then you will be all right. If it is something more serious I wish you well.
Shawn Phillips
Bill,
Thanks for your comment. Great thing about “brick walls” in life is that we only need to get our own, see our own and usually experience them (unfortunately). It’s not all that important that we know or even influence others.
Sounds like you’ve got a solid wall you’re leaning into. Yes, sounds challenging. What gifts has it given you? What you doing with that?
I get where you’re coming from. I have great compassion for the challenges and would love nothing more than to know that no one would ever have to suffer. But then what the hell kind of world would that be–where we don’t get the vivid-color lessons.
Knowledge is knowledge… it’s things we know. But Wisdom is born from pain and suffering more often. For it reveals us.
Wishing you all the best and amazing Strength on your journey.
To Your Life @ FULL Strength,
Shawn
PS No, it’s not a medical thing here… thank God. Thanks for asking.
Tony
This post is the real definition of Full Strength – facing truth, even the hard and scary truth, take true strength. Kudos to you and best wishes on your new journey.
Susan boyd
Read your post and sounded like you had met the Lord Jesus in a very personal way. Many of us have opened a Bible and discovered life was more than we had imagined. Don’t think that is what u r saying but hope u will consider opening to the book of John and find a surrender that offers real peace and perspective. I have been so blessed by your books and have shared it with many others in my own journey. Just wanted to share my best wishes and prayers for you. Thanks for all of your help.
Sincerely,
Susan boyd
TomZ
I believe 98% of the super achievers in our universe have the same internal dialogue as you’ve described, Shawn.
But YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Your words are almost identical to the words in my nightly journal – and by other responses posted – your words also mirror many others.
Anthony Robbins had a quote in 1991 that continues to fuel my meditations and bring clarity to my daily sanity check: “you are the gift which you’ve been seeking”.
Carpe Diem at Full Strength!
TomZ – Annapolis, MD
Harlan
Hi Shawn – long time stalker first time poster. A bit esoteric for me, very reminiscent of EST or Tony Robbins (I think Bill did something with him right?) Don;t mean to be a naysayer as I haven’t even taken the first step successfully down either path whether its lack of commitment on my part or that I let “life happen” all the time. I appreciate you had a light bulb moment but what does it mean to you, me and us? Did you think that your “plan” addresses all things? Isn’t diversity of the experience, moderation in all things, and the ability to receive some of the ways to best joy the walk through life? Anyway, I don;t want to denigrate your epiphany, I admire your accomplishments and look forward tp the day when I start on the road of physical fitness. Looking forward to hearing what this “event” was/is – very curious.
Jon Nikolaus
I am very interested in hearing your take and perspective on the latest news about heavy metals found in most protein powders and extremely high in what I thought was the Flagship of all protein powder products on the market. Science must have its flaws afterall? Of course I mean EAS products…..
Shawn Phillips
Jon,
Yes, thanks for asking…
I did a full write up on the subject a while back which I will link to here. Parts’ 1 & 2…
As you’ll see, I found Consumer Reports acted in a thoroughly irresponsible way on many levels. The reporting was biased and there were a lot of issues. Issues I cover in these reports.
Note you’ll also find independent lab results on Full Strength showing it’s perfectly free, clean and clear of ANY toxic metals.
Dissecting the Consumer Reports “Health Alert on Proteins” [Part 1]
Part 2: Full Strength Lab Results – Pure Premium Nutrition Through and Through
I hope this helps clear it up… feel free to share your comments on those blogs. Thanks.
Shawn
Spida Hunter
Thanks for sharing Shawn, as we are in the mist of a massive earthquake & I’ve been very “strong” lately I feel I need to get back to being True Strength…..
The future of us is “uncertain” & I need to accept this in a calm/assertive way.
Your awesome for sharing with us and opening up to your true you,
Spida
P.S. I’ve been needing to be “true strength” well before the earthquake
Shawn Phillips
Thank you brother…
Keep the Strength down there! I appreciate you taking the time to take in my unburdening amidst the heaviness of the time.
You know how it goes, Spida, “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” And to that I’d add, “To those who much is given, much is expected.”
I’m not sure you nor I have had much given but I imagine that’s meant in the Universal sense. So, we’ve got much to do. And know I’m always here, in your corner.
To Your Full Strength!
Shawn
Ruth Gilbert
This is a masterpiece of heart. There’s a little bit of your story in all of us.(And huge chunks for many – myself included.) A phrase keeps popping in my head that I’m hesitant to type as we met so briefly at Wizard Academy in Austin but there must be a reason I’m compelled to say this: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
Shawn Phillips
Thank You Ruth…
I appreciate your words… and maybe what you’re feeling, in addition to a connection having known me, is a bit of yourself… the, “I’m so proud of myself!” And it keeps coming up here.
All sorts of reasons but just thinking…
Shawn
Josh Galt
I’m glad I met you last week…The timing of the inspiration is once again perfect! I’m not exactly sure what you’re going through but it doesn’t matter – the message resonates and for that I thank you.
Major respect for you Shawn. Living publicly – should I say being vulnerable publicly – is gutsy. Yet it always moves people. Way to go. Keep pressing forward!
Shawn Phillips
Thanks Josh… great to reconnect last week for sure.
Appreciated! Shawn
Rob - @formerfatguy
“It is in changing that we find purpose” – Hercleitus
Shawn Phillips
As always… ROOOOBBBBBB! You da man! Thanks…
Monique DiCarlo
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yes, BRAVO Shawn!
And all of the above…
With love,
Mo
PS: thanks Mark E for sharing this great post on fb!!!
Blake
Now I’m the one tearing up!! You have an amazing gift of communication… way better words of expression than I’m capable of…
Shawn Phillips
Damn it! Sorry about that bro… thanks!
Durwin Foster
Hey Shawn:
I really appreciate the timing of this post. You have commented that perhaps your strength has been in the UR and mine in the UL. Perhaps we can find points of connection in the LL and the LR — slowly but surely.
You being more transparent about your struggles is making it more easy to share this resource with you: a recent book by Martin Ucik that you might enjoy checking out: Integral Relationships, A Manual for Men. You could check it out at Martin’s site: integralrelationship.com.
Yours,
Durwin
Shawn Phillips
Awesome Durwin.. thanks. I’ve seen the book… will look into it. Yes, good info. Now to get a relationship on again! Ha.. Some day… Some day…
Shawn
Bryan Walsh
Again, perfectly stated, Shawn. I can’t tell you how much this resonated with me personally over the past six months of my life.
In short, it is the introspection, insight, openness, humility and candor you display in your own personal growth, that makes you such an incredible person to lead today’s men along the journey down a previously untraveled road for us in modern times.
Thanks for what you do.
Bryan
Shawn Phillips
Thank you much Bryan. I so respect and appreciate your work and commitment… it means a lot of hear this from you.
You nailed it, where I want to be… sweet spot for change.
To Your Strength!
Shawn
paul
Shawn,
Great piece. If there are two common woundings I have seen many guys carry around, it is these. May I suggest you read the books by Barbara Brennan (Hands of Light and Light Emerging) to get a big handle on this from a developmental perspective (see the oral and rigid wounding particularly). In a nutshell, the origin of deep feelings of lack from a developmental/psychoanalytical perspective can be seen in the very early stages of our development. Some suggest the ‘oral’ stage, which is in fact pre-verbal and pre-mind contributes to and shapes this type of wounding. Depending on how well our parents respond to our emotional, physical and mental needs, will really shape this. If we experience lack (abandonment or deprivation) and our needs are not met adequately (for any kid this varies) then we grow up feeling we are not good enough. At the same time, if our essence as a person is not valued and mirrored by those around us (parents and other caregivers) and instead we are valued for our achivements, then we end up striving endlessly for perfection.
One of the ways I notice when I am in my rigid defense is when I do not feel anything. I do not feel real, I am just going through the motions, and my presentation to others outwardly is that my life is perfect. I am strong, together, my life is perfect, etc.
The problem is that all our energy is held in our spine, back and not in the front of our body where we feel and experience our emotions. As a long term piece of work on this, I simply used to lie down for thirty minutes each and every night and allow my body experiences and feelings to flow. For example, I would lay down and start with tracking my body signals,
My head hurts, my knee feels sore, all the while keeping the focus out of the story and what needs changing and really just tuning into my body and letting it communicate to me. My experiences would range from facing long periods of chronic emptiness, no feelings etc, but I would stick with it. After identifying my body experiences (and not changing or working on any of them but simply witnessing and listening – like you do to a loved one when they are distressed) my emotions started to flow. As time went on, I began to feel more, and be less driven by my will to achieve. Check our light emerging and letting go of perfection by Barbara Brennan (really really didthe trick for me) There was never anything to be done except to listen to my body and feel/experience whatever I felt or did not feel for 30 minutes at a time. This is the opposite of concentrative/intensely focused meditation, it is more zen, but really tuned into your body and the now via your body and emotional experiences. BTW, I still have this wounding, but this practice for about six months (which I had to do perfectly – hehehehehe) really loosened up the need to be perfect all the time, to the need to be perfect less of the time (:
Take great care, at 40, I am experiencing chronic feelings of emptiness and lack of meaning. I found your book and your ideas of training mindfully really beautiful, the gym is where I go for myself and to honour myself and nurture myself. It is funny, but aftre 12 years of therapy and 1000s of hours of group processing and also training in group facilitation, I am being driven to get my first six pack in my life, and it is not a really healthy goal nor does it feel healthy, yet here is the rigid defense showing up again in my life in different ways (:.
Take great care my friend, and if there is one thing I can say, there is absolutely and unequivocally nothing wrong with you. I have read and witnessed the successful side of your life and training and also your raw and vulnerable and open side as well. I have to say I like this raw, honest and real side of you so much more. And I value this blog,because as one human being to another, your words helped me to connect into a part of me that I neglect too much, and over-ride with the pursuit of things and achievements – the sad little boy inside me who only got love and received love when he did something good/achieved something.
Gonna have to reflect on my frigging parenting style and start honouring my kids a lot more for who/what they are and mirror this back to them, rather then what they are achieving in life.
Take good care of you my friend – paul
Shawn Phillips
WOW Paul… WOW!
Well done… love the practices, the guide. SO get it… have been all over that sort of work. With ya.
Glad you’re enjoying Strength for LIFE (aka “A Man’s Guide to Life @ Full Strength: In the Middle 3rd”)… the original intent hence the resonate feel of it.
I’m on it… but may ask some Q’s…
Shawn
Claudia Hall Christian
You know, Big S, I never liked you for your car or your hair or your sculpted abs or your wealth or your brother or your family.
And you drive a nice car, have amazing hair, your abs are unbelievable, I like your brother and damn you make cute kids. Wealth? *shrugging* It is what it is.
I’ve always like you for your honesty and kindness. I like that you’ve gone out of your way for me (photo of White Ranch) even when you didn’t have to. I like your sense of humor and the deep way you think about things. I like the way you talk about your kids as if they are real viable beings, not mini-mes.
I’m proud to know you for the human being I’ve seen, and over the years will know better – not the rest of that crap.
I just thought you’d like to know.
Shawn Phillips
Thank you Claudia…
Ryan Ange
Thank you, Shawn. Very beautiful and very inspiring to me.
Kevin T
Shawn,
I’ve never seen you more real than in two things you’ve shared with all of us, if I may say such a thing. First, the one year anniversary post of your beloved dad’s death…and this piece of openness you have shared with us today. Both were pieces that blow the heart wide open, for the giver and the receiver. And that’s a good thing.
It’s always been there Shawn. Always been there…inside of you. It’s there. It doesn’t have to hide anymore.
You’ve painted a picture here that far exceeds a thousand words, but it comes down to this. Once you realize YOU aren’t enough, or that ‘whatever’ it is in life that one is looking for isn’t enough…THEN YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You’re enough, man. Believe it. Because I believe in you.
ps. you keep putting things out like this, and your already large circle of influence will inevitably…exponentially…grow. Especially with those who are most important to you.
Shana Kuehn
Shawn, I am blown away by your story…it hits close to home. I have been in search of my passion, my purpose & a life of joy for so many years. I feel like I am walking around aimlessly like a zombie doing things to please other people, but feeling numb to any love or praise. I am very interested to read more of your journey and insights as I too and struggling to feel like I am “enough”.
JT
Shawn,
Without soundng too corny – ah, what the heck…. I was left speechless as to the content and timing of your message. As I sit with my morning coffee, reading my latest “self-help” book, wondering why I feel I haven’t “found my place” (eventhough I am extremely lucky to have a loving family) and wondering if I will ever “be good enough” – your words felt like someone was reading my mind.
Thanks for sharing – your words have literally changed my day/week – NOW, if I can use them as inspiration to change more long term – they will not be wasted. I look back on my Body-For-Life semi-transformation as a high point in my life and wonder where I can find the motivation to repeat that dedication and truly make it “for-life”. Knowing there are deeper things that must be addressed is the key and unfortunately, take time to address. Patience is not my virtue but sometimes there is no other way than feeling the pain before one can make lasting change.
Thank you and keep the inspiration coming.
Drew
hey Shawn…
Allow me to start with “Bravo…”
True strength includes having the capacity to be authentic and express the truth of how you feel.
You modeled that here.
Only then can you get clear in your preferences and start to move in the direction that truly feels in alignment.
Most men get this exactly backwards. They ignore their feelings, put their heads down, and assume they can bull their way through their problems. And we assume we can do it alone…
After all, aren’t dealing with feelings and getting help forms of weakness? (This is what most men adopt as beliefs from our culture.)
As a result, every day we get a little closer to the brick wall. When we hit it (and we always hit it when we ignore our feelings), the facade cracks open. And then the light comes in. There’s a real opportunity for change.
But in my experience, hitting the wall and feeling the light of awareness are just the beginning.
Now, the 80/20 rule kicks in…
After smashing into a wall, everyone has the intention to upgrade their lives.
20% percent make a new decision. They invest in themselves. They commit. They begin to DO some things differently. They take on new practices. They let some things (or people) go. As a result, they evolve. They upgrade.
The other 80% walk away from the wreckage, shaken, promising themselves that things are going to be different going forward. They have good intentions, but no new systems, support, or practices in place. And the collision course in set into motion once again.
I’ve been part of the 80. And part of the 20.
The 20 is better. And much easier in the long haul…
Thanks again for sharing yourself.
Look forward to Part II.
Shawn Phillips
Amen Drew!
Thanks for your share… I so get this. I’ve hit walls before but never had the stakes so high and been in a place to get it so real.
I see that this is a place of the 20%… and that said, I have some supports but really am hoping for the support from within the family, to have a home a life… and do the work. I want to be a living amends to what is possible through this wreckage.
I’m eager to hear, to learn, what you’ve found to be part of the process… and what path you’ve seen work.
Please do share in some form…
Shawn
Drew Rozell
Happy to share, Shawn.
Wrote a whole book about it, The Very Cool Life Code.
Send me your address again and I’ll drop you a copy in the mail.
I think you’d find something of value in there…
All the best,
Drew
Shawn Phillips
Awesome Drew… very excited to see the work… looks Super Very Cool!
Address sent!
Russ Childs
Fantastic – this is what I needed!! I’ve been idle too long!!! My training is going really well, my eating/nutrition though sucks! Also I need o sort a few other areas of my life out. Needed this to get back on track – cheers man!
Jon Benson
SP… bro… what’s up?? Great email. Goes without saying. You’ve always been a superb writer.
I have… some thoughts on this, as you VERY well may imagine.
Call me. It’ll be good to catch up.
Shawn Phillips
Much appreciated JB!
Thanks brotha… will do! I knew you would…. I knew you would.
Suzannah Huth
YES!!! This is what I’ve been wanting you to discover!! Know that it’s ALL good, even though it may look quite the contrary on the surface. Then you will have true joy, that nothing or no one can take away. Talk about unstoppable!
MJ
“Rushing to reach a moment of some imagined pleasure is like setting yourself on fire in anticipation of the relief you’ll feel when you jump into a pool of water!” – Guy Finley
Thank you for your courageous honest sharing. I wish you peace.
Anthony Tillman
Ok Shawn, I get the whole “discovery of something deliberately ignored thing”, but crap, please, just spit it out. I honestly don’t mean any disrespect. If someone is willing to give you their time and read what you have to say, then you should say it in as clear and concise a way as possible. I’m busy, and I know for a fact you are too. How about sharing your epiphany so that we can all potentially benefit from it as soon as possible.
Shawn Phillips
Gawd! I love this Anthony!
You rock! Way to get at it… go for the money shot!
I have to tell ya, I thought long and hard about the take away–about making sure there value was there and clear. I did…
And what I concluded was that it could not be more simply distilled without losing the impact. It’s a little like riding the roller coaster and being told what the last hill felt like. One just doesn’t do it.
That said, I have been thinking about how to make is stronger, clearer since you asked. What’s the money shot? Well, two things… one, is the experience. And through my experience, by taking in my ride there’s an opportunity to get outside oneself, to stop seeing things / the world through “my” (your own) lens and ego. The impact of this is usually that by identifying with another’s experience we are more free to see things in our lives more clearly and openly. Things we couldn’t “think” about to deduce but arise within.
To that I’d add that I believe we all know both how we’re most likely to die and what is killing us today. I mean killing your spirit, passion, energy and aliveness. I think it’s in our heads but not seen… it’s what we turn away from, reject. It’s what we fear.
My invitation is to listen closely, feel into that and shed the light on that part of yourself… your life. See it, be it…. open the door that’s been closed too long.
I don’t think there is any more action beyond that. It’s not resolving it–it’s opening to it. Seeing it… and that’s all the responsibility and duty anyone needs at this point. If you can do that you’re ahead of 90% of the people on the planet. And that will lead to the next step…
Strength,
Shawn
Shawn Phillips
Anthony, I don’t see my original reply here… so will look to see where it’s at..
But in the meantime, was listening to Eckhardt Tolle’s A New Earth and the quote stuck with me, “Recognition of the unconscious is the beginning of the awakening.”
So, the purpose my be just that… recognition.
Alan Sheridan
Shawn,
it sounds (so far) like some pretty major stuff is changing in your life. What you’ve described sounds a lot like some of the friends I’ve had who were diagnosed with cancer, or had an awakening about their sexuality late in life – pretty major heavy stuff. I know you’ve got a strong support network, and I honor your bravery in opening up to the world about what’s going on with you.
Just remember, it’s not always a choice between lemonade or chewing the lemons up. Sometimes, you can make a fabulous sauce for grilled salmon out of those lemons
Best wishes,
Alan
Shawn Phillips
Yeah, it’s all heavy… it’s life. So much easier to keep it simple and between the lines but I’m prone to pushing it all over the place for effect.
The upside may be that the waves force growth… the downside is, obvious, growth sucks! Well, the process of it. It hurts like hell and all that…
I have some ideas, a vision, of what I want to make out of it. Now to position it in my intentions, and let the miracles happen outside my illusion of control.
Peace,
Shawn
Shawn Phillips
Thanks Alan… yeah, pretty major stuff… called LIFE.
I do fantasize about a life on more mellow seas but recognize it’s my destiny to ride the waves. The good thing about this style is it forces growth and growth is what I love so.
The bad thing is that growth sucks! Well, the process, that is… it’s terribly painful but wonderfully invigorating.
Peace & Strength,
Shawn
Shawn Phillips
Thanks Alan… yeah, pretty major stuff… called LIFE.
I do fantasize about a life on more mellow seas but recognize it’s my destiny to ride the waves. The good thing about this style is it forces growth and growth is what I love so.
The bad thing is that growth sucks! Well, the process, that is… it’s terribly painful but wonderfully invigorating.
Peace & Strength,
Shawn
Rob
Shawn,
A heartfelt thanks from a guy who’s been there…well, almost. Not as accomplished in the same ways that you are my friend. I do have to say though that you’re only half into the equation though. The other half of letting go is….letting God. Each of us has a God-sized hole in our hearts that only He can fill. That’s why all of those things or “nexts” and “better thans” often leave the same sized void that was there before the attempt to fill them even began. So, I’ll spare you the preaching and let Augustine finish, paraphrasing his statement that “our hearts are restless, and can find no rest until we rest in Thee” . Jesus said “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”. John 14:27.
Thanks for being real.
Rob
Shawn Phillips
Thanks for the wisdom Rob!
Maria
Shawn,
My first step of waking up was many years ago when I almost died and spent months recovering. My life was spared and I found that I will never be “enough” on my own but through the grace of God I am good enough. You are blessed and are a blessing to so many others. I always learn from you and pray you find peace through surrender.
David Bradsher
Shawn,
As always, your timing (and your message) is dead solid perfect. You’ve been, for lack of a better term, the steward of my journey since Strength For Life set my path for me, and Full Strength became part of my everyday arsenal.
Thanks for your honesty, your passion, your energy, and most of all, for being there. You’re a brother in the most brotherly way.
David
Shawn Phillips
Much gratitude… {{humbly}}….
Todd Murphy
Maybe that’s why the “Purpose Driven Life,” by Rick Warren sold so many copies. People, in spite of the number of toys and success they may have on this earth, still seem to be miserable, for the most part, until they experience peace with God.
I’m still rebelling against this God idea, and still, for the most part, a tormented soul who can’t seem to find his place.
Keep sharing and daring.
Christopher Walling
Sean:
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable as to share your journey towards surrender. Letting go can often seem like giving up, but as you said, it’s an opening, a door into waking up, and beginning to experience an authentic state of being that far surpasses that pressed shirt, or that clean car of yours.
I look forward to the next installment my friend.
Chris
Los Angeles, CA
Shawn Phillips
Thanks Chris…
It’s a bit of a challenge to do, to share but what feels like death is rich with life…
Liz Stevens
Hey Shawn –
Amazing reveal here. Thanks for the wake up call! lol Can’t wait for “Part Deux”.
Mark Alan Effinger
Shawn – I’d love to wax poetic in reply.
Instead, I’ll have to facebook songs as the only appropriate response.
But you nailed it,. And you freakin’ tease: Part Deux? Damn you, man!
Shawn Phillips
Yeah, I know you know what happens when life hits the brick wall, whether you were driving or not..
Thanks for the comment and looking forward to the tunes!
It’s gonna go on and on… my hope is that if any man wakes up from my joyful suffering than I’ve done my work. Saving just one soul from the sleepwalking trance of life is all I ask.
Rock on, Shawn