Oh, to be a boy… Again?
The Joy of Fishing with my little Brother
I want to be a boy who gets to play and run and jump. I want to be a boy who has more joys than worries, more freedom than responsibility, more love and compassion than punishment and consequences.
At times, we all have romantic fantasies about times in our lives we’d like to revisit—these longings are more often fantasy of escape and freedom. Now that’s not all bad but the fascination with going back to high school for a weekend to have the freedom and fast cars is just a fun thought—and an escape from the current burdens.
Today I saw a photo my friend Scott posted of his best friend growing up. In it I saw two boys being boys, being friends. I didn’t want to escape, or even return to, I just wanted to experience “that.”
I had a great childhood, rich with memories, as most have. There’s no place, time or energy for complaints. Like all of us, our childhood’s where what we knew—we had no experience to compare them with, no gold standard. Thus, we accept and remember it as we viewed it then, largely.
But as I’m looking at this picture there’s something which has me thinking deep and serious; wondering if I ever really did have that childhood. Was I was ever that boy who just played, and played. Who ran for fun and freedom…
Or was I always on a mission—a survivor, winning to eliminate the potential for failure. It seems like I was always running to somewhere or from something. Running, running, doing and running. But did I really play?
Either way… I want to be a boy, perhaps again only in age; in heart and mind for the first time. I suspect that I grew up too fast, took on too much and did a hell of lot more than survive—sure, but damn I missed a lot of good ol’ fashioned fun.
This thought today awakens me to the need as a parent to nurture and protect my children’s childhoods; to help them grow into responsible people but not make them grow before their time; to shape them through influence not mold them through force.
Our son a few years ago
Good chance that I missed out on a lot of being that boy who ran and played. Hence, there’s a place in my soul where I crave to feel the wind blowing through my hair, watch the weeds bending in the breeze, chase the horses at dusk, smell the grass greening in spring and dance bare foot in the rain.
The good news is I have the chance to do that with my boy and with my girl, and damned if I’m going to miss it, again!
Here’s to running, jumping and dancing barefoot long beyond your “useful years.”
Here’s to Your Life @ Full Strength!
Shawn
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Kevin T
Absolutely dang straight, man!! Shout it from the mountaintops. Shawn, you’ve got a message. Deliver it!!!
Phil Fordyce
The most influencial years of our lives”childhood”. Gotta let them be little while they are such. Sometimes i worry so much about the legacy I leave for my kids, that I’m missin out on the fun times that i should be havin with them. This day and age its tough not to do atleast for me. I have a large family so I really gotta choose my time wisely. I often stress to much about time that i am bein robbed because of it. Just wanna live strong for them n keep passin that torch without missin the sweet moments. Full strength for my family! Won’t settle for less than that man! Best to you n your family Shawn! Stay strong for them man cuz it never was about us anyway! Take care God bless
Scott Tousignant
Love the pictures and love the post Shawn. I like to think that being a parent gives me every opportunity to be a BIG kid. I’m definitely a big kid at heart and I love to just goof around with my 7 and 9 year old. It’s beautiful watching kids, because movement is something that comes so naturally to them. They don’t think of it as exercise, they think of it as fun.
I was just telling my friend how much our relationship made me a better person. We both had the same name, same love for the active life, the outdoors, and we competed in the same sports. It was always an incredibly friendly rivalry and we were equal on so many levels. As competitive as we both were, even at such a young age, we never let it take away from the fun we were having. We found joy in each others company and enjoyed pushing each other harder. That desire to WIN and that confidence in your abilities begins at such an early age. I am certain that those friendly competitions have made me the man that I am today.
When I posted that picture of my best friend, I thought to myself, “I spend so much of my time looking toward the future, it sure is nice to reflect on the past with fondness and gratitude.” Now after reading your post about the moments with your children I am reminded of the importance of being in the moment and soaking it all in.
I feel incredibly blessed for the childhood that I had. I feel incredibly grateful for the current moments that I share with my family, friends, and myself. I look forward to the future with open arms.